Thursday, March 12, 2009


School is not going so well. It should be going well. Considering school, mine is really easy!

A few reasons why it's not going well:

1. Joshua isn't home anymore to take care of Mike while I listen to my class. The nights he is home we want to be doing things together!
2. Classes are BORING. I have a really hard time focusing, even when I don't have Mike with me.
3. I live 45 minutes away from campus, and books are only available to be picked up on weekdays before noon. I'm almost halfway through my current classes and haven't done anything because both classes require books. Books I don't have because I haven't had a car and when I have had a car, I haven't gotten myself and child up, ready, and out the door before 11 am. (Haven't tried very hard either)
4. The biggest problem, which goes along with the others: I'm just not motivated anymore!

As much as I hate quitting, I would really just like to. The reasons I haven't yet:

1. I would have to give back my laptop.
2. I would have to pay back my loans without anything to show for it. (like a degree)
3. The classes I've taken in the last year don't transfer to any other school.

Wouldn't it be nice if I didn't have to worry about getting a good job? Can't I just stay at home with my son (and future children) and NOT work?

I have less than a year left. I just need to get it done and behind me, but I don't want to!


Anonymous said...

Just finish school. It will always be hard no matter when you do it. But finish it while you are young. This is what happens when people put babies before brains.

Michelle said...

Wow. I'm going to post on this. I think I have a little experience.

After high school I went to BYU. I ended up withdrawing due to various illnesses and finally returned after my mission. I began dating my (now) husband who lived in CA. I withdrew AGAIN to put him through school. We now have 2 children. He has graduated and is pursuing a MS degree.

When he graduated, I went back to school. 30 credits from BYU did not transfer. I had to redo my GEs. Now I'm set to graduate in June.

Going back to school required babysitters and pre-school for my children. I have struggled and fought, but I have ALWAYS put my family first. That being said, I missed 4.5 weeks of this quarter because of sick children. I wouldn't change that for the world.

So what am I getting out of my education? I am setting an example for my children. To finish. To learn. "The glory of God is intelligence." I am also prepared for the instance that anything should happen and I need to work. Or if I choose to work.

So Anonymous: I am 31 years old. It is hard to finish. But I am DOING THIS FOR MY BABIES. And I am graduating from one of the top schools in the country. Those are my brains.

Lori - it took me years to finish. I promote finishing - but I also understand how difficult it is to do with babies. Just do your best for your family, whatever that entails.

Anonymous: Being a mother is fantastic. It is a school all it itself. It's not brains or babies - it's both.

Janna said...

Why is it that rude people always go anonymous????

My opinion on school: If you only have a year left, just keep on chuckin' through it. I don't have any advice though on HOW to get through it. I'm still waiting for all of my kids to be in school before I go back cause I can't do that many things at one time!!!! Good luck!

Christina said...

I am with you Lori, I am having a really hard time concentrating on school right now. We both only have about a year left, we can do it!

Lauren said...

Yes, getting an education is important, but your son comes first. I'm glad you are putting him first.

If you are halfway through and think you will really make use of the degree, I suggest keep going. See if there is someone in your ward or neighborhood who might be willing to tend for you while you study - is there a service you can do for someone else as a trade instead of monetary payment? I did someones laundry for piano lessons one year. I wish I lived close enough to help you, we'd love to tend Mike.

If you are not enjoying the classes, think about if you will enjoy a job in this degree. If not, I'd suggest stopping or changing your degree.

If you do continue, try to keep up on your skills even if you are a stay-at-home mom when you finish. My problem after 14 years of not working is I have lost much of the skills I learned in college, or the programs I learned are now obsolete.

Tough decisions. Pray about it. Good luck.

John said...

Listen to Lauren. She knows what she's talking about.

Never listen to faceless, unknown, anonymous advise. If they believed their own advise, they'd put their name by it.

Sarah said...

School is hard! It took me 4.5 years to get my BS in Biology mostly because my husband is in the army and I had to transfer schools twice.I am not a mother but I can imagine how hard it would be to go to school and take care of your baby. That's why I am waiting to have kids because I know I could never do it. I applaud your effort and encourage you to finish even though you are a little discouraged. I promise it will pay off in the end.

Sarah said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Landon and Mary said...

some people! i can't believe it! if they're going to go anonymous they might as well just keep what they want to say to themselves!being rude isn't going to get your opinion across but offend the person you were rude to...duh!
oh man lori, i totally understand your dilemma. landon is so close to his associates (i know it's taken him forever to get that far) and now we're having triplets...quitting school would make things so much easier for us for the first little bit but for the long run it would be so much better for our family if he finished. If you only have a year left i would do anything to motivate yourself, give yourself rewards after each semester or big tests & like others said before me see if some neighbors or ward members will watch mike for a little bit. i hope this comes across comforting and not insensitive but there are so many others out there in your same predicament. Lean on those you can and then 'pay it forward' (don't know if you've seen that movie) when you're done with school. Then talk landon into staying in school! :)

The Kellys said...

I think you are great for balancing school and your family. I respect you and your husband for all the effort you're putting in to provide Mikey a great life. Its hard. My husband is doing the same thing with me. A year will go by so fast for you, im jealous you will be done with school so soon. Just hang in there. If we lived closer I would have loved to help watch Mikey. "put brains before babies" is a load of crap. Just hang in there.

Rand Burgoyne said...

Wow, you have some very wise friends. I can't add much... I do like Lauren's comments, too.

Life isn't always easy, nor is it fair. You do your best and work hard for the rest. There's not always a clear-cut answer to what is right. Most of life's tough decisions aren't between right and wrong, it is between good and better. The challenge is that we don't always know when to put good in front of better.

Ultimately I know you'll make the right decision. You are smart, energetic, creative - and a great mom too! I can tell you're analyzing the pros & cons, and studying it out in your mind - that's what is important so that when you do make a decision, it is YOURS and not someone else's.

Beth said...

hmm... what Anonymous said reminded me of what I heard someone say once. They said that marriage should always be more important in a girls life than a mission. Oooh that made me mad. Yes, for many girls, that's true. But for me, there was a time in my life where a mission was more important. I very well could have gotten married at that time. But I didn't, because a mission was more important. Then I came home, and the time for marriage came. I don't think it's at all fair for people to make judgements like that. Everyone's different. Some want to go to school before having a family because they feel that it'll be better for their family in the long run. Some want to have a family first. It's totally up to the couple and what they want to do with their lives. It's hard sometimes, it really is, to make decisions like that. I've wondered for a long time how on earth people go to school and have a family at the same time. If anyone has any ideas, please let me know. I know having as much education as possible is important, but starting a family is also very important. Like Dad said, we have to decide what's "good" and what's "better." What's "good" for one person might be "better" for another, and vice versa. But how do we do that? I don't know. And as for how to stay motivated? I don't know about that either. Sorry, I'm not much help... If you find anything that works for you, let me know because I need help staying motivated too.

I do have one thing that might help you...I was reading all these comments and thought of something. If you're having trouble getting to know your neighbors, you could try what we've been doing lately. We made lots of brownies and started taking plates of brownies to our neighbors. Some of them we've met, some we haven't. It's been a lot of fun to visit with them and get to know them. It's an easy and fun way to "get in" past the awkward first introductions. You'll be instant friends to anyone you give brownies too! Then you'll have friends to trade service with like Lauren suggested. :) If you need an amazingly good brownie recipe, just let me know.

Wow, this has gotten really long... good luck with everything. Keep plugging along with school if you can, I'm sure it'll be worth the effort in the end. But if you don't finish school, the world won't fall apart. You'll still have Joshua and Mike and that's what matters.

Megan and Tony said...

School is so hard even without being married OR having babies! I'm sure you're doing a great job. Hang in there! I only finished with my associates degree and I kick myself for not working harder right out of high school and just wasting time!

Millie said...

LOL "babies before brains"? Too bad Anonymous' mother didn't think about this first... ;)

Found you on Sariah's blog. :)

Heidi & Derek said...

Wow. Getting my degree is/was the HARDEST thing I have ever done in my life. It has taken more work (5+ years of my life to be exact) then anything else I have ever spent my time on. However, now that I can officially see the light at the end of the tunnel (4 weeks until graduation:) I cannot tell you how grateful I am to have the assurance that I will always be able to provide for my family and children. It is an AMAZING blessing to know that no matter what happens in my life I will always have that to fall back.

Yes, I know that I don't have children which of course makes it EXTREMLY harder to do...but do be reassured that eventually it does come to an end and that eventually it is all COMPLETELY worth it. There is a reason that the prophet continually reminds women of the importance of getting an education or skill to be able to use to provide for their families "just in case." Life is crazy and we never know what will happen...but I testify that following the prophets counsel WILL be worth it in the end.

You should ALWAYS put your family first...which means homework/school my go on the back burner for a litte while. "Brains before babies" is a total crock. Make your own decision based on what is best for you and your family.